Friday, August 18, 2006

Marketing Blitzkrieg Vol. 9

Break out the champagne! My book finally has a ranking on Amazon! Since it first came out in October '05 (has it been that long?) I've been checking Amazon to see if the ranking would ever change from "no ranking, your book isn't worth spit" to some... any... gloriful number.

So I checked it this morning and behold, a NUMBER! A seven digit number, but a number no less. I'm so excited, hehe. #1,427,596 may not quite be a bestseller yet, but I'm sneaking up on it, wait and see. You gotta look at the positive: out of all the books for sale on Amazon, I'm no longer in last place. I feel a tiny bit of vindication. I made a mark. Yeah baby!

The way I see it, it can only go up from here... well, maybe.


Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Cheesracing, of All Things

I happened on a website by chance ~ actually four degrees of surfing, read: USA Today - to - Ken What's His Name from Jeopardy Fame - to Mental Floss - to Cheese Racing ~ and as I was checking out the ridiculous new British 'sport' of cheese racing (I might as well give it to you so you don't have to waste time Googling it: I noticed their webcounter.

It was clocked at almost 650,000 page hits. You've got to be kidding me! Last I checked I was barely scratching 1500 (which is actually 500 because I started the counter at 1000 so that people logging on in the beginning didn't think they were the only ones). Sticking plastic wrapped Kraft singles on a grill and watching them expand and blow up has 650,000 hits, and my comely little blog trumping independent arts has 1500 (okay, okay, 500)? UGHHH!

I can't believe it! At first I was shocked, but then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I should maybe start a ridiculous website about some inane thing and just put a tiny link to my book and presto! Half a million hits. Even if the hits come over 8 years, which seems to be how long cheeseracing has been in existence, I'd still take it. Right now my pace would be about 12,000 hits over the same period (okay, okay, 4,000). So then, what ridiculously inane thing could I come up with? Hmmm... maybe instead of plastic wrapped cheese, I could throw my neighbor kid's Fisher Price Popper toy on the grill and see how long that takes to blow up? (I could call it Or maybe I could throw my other neighbor's pesky little cat that he puts on a leash on the grill and see what happens (come to think of it, that's already been done with a microwave). Better yet, maybe I should throw the neighbor who actually walks his cat on a leash on the grill so I don't have to witness such ridiculous affronts to manhood any more. (I could call it Or perhaps I could throw a pot of a dozen or so boiling eggs on the stove and leave them for a couple hours just to see what it looks (and smells) like afterwards, assuming the house isn't burnt down (I could call it (Hopefully, my wife has a sense of humor. Just don't ask her to hard boil eggs!)

Seems to me the choices are endless. I'd better go and get started. Maybe there is something to this idea of backdoor webtising after all.


Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Marketing Blitzkrieg Vol. 8

I got 2 emails last week, one from England and one from Belgium. How cool is it that my book's comparatively meager sales have actually penetrated Europe? I'm kinda psyched thinking about it. It goes to show that networking and being a part of the literary web scene can lead to 'digital' word of mouth.

I also received an email the other day out of the blue from a gentleman who is publishing his memoir of experiences during 9/11. Artie Van Why's (yes that's the name) blog is at: . I read through his account and found his experience and insight fascinating. He was working in a building one block away from Ground Zero. I don't know about you, but I never really get tired of reading about these firsthand accounts connected to 9/11. It's become such a huge part of the fabric of our lives, especially here in the Tri-State area, that I find the emotional pull of such writings irresistable. I thought I'd give him a plug here so that the three people reading my blog could benefit from his experience. I look forward to his memoir when it comes out.

Happy Book Marketing!


Monday, April 03, 2006

Marketing Blitzkrieg Vol. 7

Well now. Obviously there's not much happening on the marketing front here. I haven't sent anything to Tom Cruise yet. Got to get myself psyched up for the rejection factor first and I'm just not there yet.

My bumper sticker is in place and has been producing zero results. And I just saw at my gym this morning, they had taken down my cut sheet advertising my book. I complained (halfheartedly) and Carol the Receptionist offered to put another one back up, which was mighty nice of her.

I think about my book marketing and I get depressed. I don't know what else to do. Got no money for advertising. Have to rely on word of mouth and the word right now is 'nothing'!

All the different book buzz ways of marketing that I read on the net require funds that I don't have. So...

Got any suggestions for getting out of the book marketing doldrums?


Thursday, February 02, 2006

Marketing Blitzkrieg Vol. 6

So here is my new bumper sticker. I should be getting it in the mail either today or tomorrow. The writing is bigger so it will be easier to read. We'll see. The colors are matched to the cover of the book, so that came out nice.

Oh! I almost forgot... the copy of my book that I sent to Matt Damon's publicist was returned to me unopened. Figures! How the heck do you get in touch with these famous people anyway? Do they live monk-like lives? There has to be a way to get something into their hands. Anyway, my next try is Tom Cruise. I got an inside tip on an address and his real name where he sometimes opens and answers his own mail. Yeah right.

Have you gotten your COPY yet? (Not the bumper sticker! The Book, duh.)


Friday, January 27, 2006

Marketing Blitzkrieg Vol. 5

Okay, so I got my bumper stickers in the mail, and as usual I can't figure out how to get the dumb things up here for you to look at. Keeps coming upside down. I know, sounds like it should be an easy fix... but that's beside the point.

Point is, the writing is too small. You couldn't read it unless you were right behind me in your car. Now I realize that's the purpose of bumper stickers, but I was hoping the writing would be a little larger so that at least people 2 cars behind me could read it!

Anyway, when I feel like it, I'll go back to the website and this time I will make one that has LARGER writing, even if it just means putting the web address alone on it.

Or maybe I'll get one of those magnetic signs instead and really embarrass my wife!


Monday, January 09, 2006

Marketing Blitzkrieg
Vol. 4

Okay, so the article in the local paper came out and I got great feedback on that. (People at the gym still come up to me and say they loved it.) But, unfortunately, it's short-lived marketing. I'm desperately trying to think out of the box, to think of ways to market that are long lasting - and cheap!

So I come upon this website and learn that I can pretty much make up my own bumper stickers (from templates) with my own pics for as little as 5 bucks. So I did and ordered 2 for $7.95. Man you can't beat that! They should be coming in the mail today and then I'll scan one and throw it up here so you can see what good quality it is. Talk about cheap advertising!

I told my wife about it and she made fun of me, you know, driving around with my own books' bumper sticker on my car - said it was tacky. But if I was a plumber or electrician, wouldn't I have a sign on my vehicle advertising that fact? And a big sign at that, not even a bumper sticker! So why not an author driving around advertising his own book? I don't see the tackiness at all. I see cheap, original advertising. Nothing wrong with that! You gotta believe in your own stuff, if you don't what can you believe in?

The other day I also read an article about Matt Damon wanting to write another screen play after he wraps up acting in his latest film. So I sent a copy of my book to his publicist with a note to pass it on to him. I'm sure I'm not the first person to do this, but - to borrow the very appropos NY Lottery phrase - hey, you never know.


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